Baltic, Connecticut Lies


These are some lies we made up about Baltic.

A gigantic cheetah may now and then be made out concealing a dead body by a big boulder in Baltic Historic District in the early morning hours.

A fairly decomposed human body has often been witnessed hauling a corpse from the ice cold water of Adams Brook around midnight. Several of the folks here allege this phantom is the phantom of a vacationer that was killed while traveling through Baltic a long time ago.

A female burning, grasping a petroleum container is often seen smoking a pipe at the water at Sachem Point.

An extremely large waterbuck can regularly be distinguished sipping water from Quinebaug Falls very late at night.

The ghost of a grower dressed in a hat may be noticed repeatedly examining Ayers Gap in detail around midnight. If you listen to the people who live here, this ghost is that of a local person who had a house here in Baltic in the past.

A young-looking girl wearing a blood-covered wedding dress has from time to
 
    time been made out shouting up on the top of Avery Hill.

A space alien from outer space has supposedly been distinguished on many instances before sunrise glancing across Susquehanna Plains.

 

Ghost Sightings From Baltic



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Ghost Sightings From Baltic



At the zoo:
- Look mommy, that gorilla looks just like grandma.
- Honey, we don't say mean things like that, you'd hurt her feelings.
- Sorry mommy, I didn't realize the gorilla would understand what I was saying.
Arthur: -What are Brazilian fans called ?
Delbert: - Don't know
Arthur: -Brazil nuts !.
Why do idiots open their milk cartons in the store?
It says ''Open here''.
Hey Arthur, did you know that we only use 10% of our brain capacity
- What about the other 10%.
The police pulled a car over, Arthur was sitting in the backseat.
- Arthur, you know better than to let an aardvark drive your car!
- Oh, this is not my car officer, I'm just hitch-hiking.
Arthur the Cannibal was having lunch with his friend Delbert the Cannibal.
- Delbert, I don't like my wife.
- At least eat your vegetables Arthur.
Arthur: -When you fall off a ladder, what would you fall against?
Delbert: - Don't know
Arthur: -Against your will.
Arthur: -When is a car not a car?
Delbert: - Don't know
Arthur: -When it turns into a drive way.
Doctor Rueprecht had invented a machine that transferred the birth pains from the mother to the father and he was going to try it out on one of his patients. Arthur's wife Gertrude was about to give birth so he decided to try the machine on them. He set the machine to 1/2, transferring half of the pain to the father to make it fair. Arthur didn't seem to be in any pain at all so the doctor went ahead and set it to full, transferring all the pain to the father. Arthur didn't even blink. The machine is even better than I had hoped thought the doctor.
The next day when the couple brought their newborn baby back home they found Arthur's best friend Delbert dead in the front yard.
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