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Ghost Sightings From Australia
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Ghost Sightings From Australia
Douglas was desperate for a wife put an ad ''Wife Wanted''. The following day, a bunch of letters came. All saying ''You can have mine''.
Arthur, why are your eyes closed?
- Well Delbert, I was in the middle of a blink and I got bored.
A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender:
- Got bread?
- No.
- Got bread?
- No Mr. Duck, we don't have any bread.
- Oh, Ok then. Doy ou have any bread?
- I already told you you stupid duck, we don’t have any bread now if you ask me one more time I'll grab you by the neck and nail your beak to the counter!
- Got nails?
- No.
- Got bread?.
At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked Arthur who was a witness. ''Isn't it true?'' he bellowed, ''that you accepted ten thousand dollars to compromise this case.'' Arthur stared out the window, as though he hadn't heard the question. The prosecutor again shouted, ''Isn't it true that you accepted ten thousand dollars to compromise this case?'' Arthur still did not respond. Finally, the judge leaned over and said, ''Sir, please answer the question.'' ''Oh, I thought he was talking to you'', Arthur said.
Health advice by Doctor Rueprecht:
- If you eat an apple a day for 36500 days you will live to be 100.
Douglas was on a first date with a girl he had just met and took her to a nice restaurant. When he saw the menu he was shocked by the high prices, so he said:
- Ok, fatso, what would you like to eat?.
Doctor Rueprecht the gynecologist had decided to change his career and become a mechanic. So he signed up for evening classes and learned all he could. When time for the exam approached, he prepared carefully for weeks, and completed the exam. When the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had obtained 150%. Fearing an error, he called the instructor, and asked him about the mark. The instructor said, ''During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark. You put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth 50% of the mark. I gave you an extra 50% because you did all of it THROUGH the muffler?? .
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